Since medieval times, children riding mountain bikes around housing estates have
been the traditional English method of buying drugs, guns, and litters of
dangerous dogs. Happily, across the Atlantic, things are very different. In
America, children are healthy, hearty, cheerful, and consider a lithe physique
and an excellent well rounded education to be the foundation stones of a happy,
productive society. It for this reason that Paperboy, released by
Atari in 1984, finds the titular hero delivering Scientific American
around Southern California rather than dumping Inside TV in a canal in
Leeds.
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For an innocuous and perfectly likeable little mammal, lemmings seem to have attracted something of a bizarre press. For instance, it was once widely believed that they formed clouds and were rained down during storms. It was then argued that although they did regenerate spontaneously, they were blown in by Scandinavian winds, and were killed by grass. This was in turn debunked, and replaced by the popular myth that lemmings are gloomy little animals, who end up hurling themselves off cliffs in fits of despair. It’s all nonsense, and your average lemming is a perfectly happy little chap, eating leaves and various grasses, pausing only to sleep and breed. Sounds quite nice, really.

Fortunately, there is no such ambiguity surrounding Lemmings, released in 1991 by Psygnosis. It was universally loved, and even hailed as a latter day Tetris in some quarters. It also contains perhaps the most eclectic soundtrack of any video game, as a result of Psygnosis’ canny avoidance of copyrighted music. Hence, players can find themselves playing solemnly to Chopin’s Funeral March, or enthusiastically to camp fire classic She’ll Be Coming Round The Mountain. On later versions, it was possible to be stirred by Scotland the Brave, or treat yourself to a right old knees up to the strains of My Old Man (Said Follow The Van) . So where did this rodent themed musical extravangza come from? And in God’s name, why?

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Technically this is week 4, but I’ve been
away on an exotic cycling trip to the Isle of Wight. I know…you’re jealous
right!? Anyway, this is my 3rd week of actual training.

To be honest, my training has somewhat
been neglected. I haven’t been training that much at all. It’s like joining a
new gym. At first you’re really up for it. You want to get that six-pack, build
those biceps and woo the…ladies. But, then you get tired, fed up, sore and
just generally de-motivated. You begin to resent paying for that membership.

Well, I’m in a similar scenario here.
Don’t get me wrong. I love the game. But I hate just plodding along. Whereas
the first 2 weeks I felt like I was learning, improving and building those
virtual biceps, this week I have gotten nowhere. I’ve become too predictable
with my usual characters and I can’t seem to get remotely good with any new
ones. The honeymoon period is over.

If I could afford it I would buy an arcade
stick – I’m definitely struggling with the combos. It’s extremely frustrating
as I KNOW I’m pressing the right buttons, in the right order and quick enough.
The game just isn’t recognising this, obviously it’s a glitch – there’s no way
it has anything to do with me being rubbish.

I
have a mate who is going to teach me how to show off some moves and deal some
damage. In his words he is ‘kickass’ at Street Fighter 4 and routinely dishes
our some serious ‘ownage’ online. I dunno – these young people and their new
online lingo. I’ll let you know if it works either at week 4 or 5.
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I’m annoyed. Frustrated. In pain. Tired and drowsy yet worryingly satisfied.

It’s week 2 of my training and I’ve improved. Only ever so slightly, but still improvement nonetheless. I have managed to grasp at least 3 fighters in the form of Ryu, Ken and Fei Long. I can also use Abel, but to be honest…he sucks. It’s probably me, but he’s far too slow for my liking. In any case, Ryu, Ken and Fei Long seem to be fighters that suit my style and I have learned most of the combos for. I can now easily use Supers and Ultras facing either direction – using the d-pad is a must.

Rather than spread my infinite ‘skill’ learning all the fighters, I stuck with a few. I still find the charge moves hard to pull off and that’s partly the reason I choose fighters with the easier combos. The main thing I have learned is to choose attacks wisely rather than go full on with fists flying so to speak. It’s far more effective and you are less vulnerable to counters. Blocking has also become an essential part of my game and there is nothing more satisfying than blocking multiple attacks and then counter attacking with a shoryuken.

The reason I’ve been frustrated with Street Fighter 4 has been trying to do various combos in trial mode. I’m in pain because I’ve spent so many hours trying to do one move on the d-pad that the skin on my thumb has worn away through friction. Typically I get to Trial 3 with any fighter and get stuck. At the moment it’s Ken giving me hassle with the Heavy Kick/Hadoken combo. Seems pretty straight forward and I’m sure most people pull it off, but I have real trouble with the quick combos.

I’ve also been wading through the arcade mode in a bid to unlock some more fighters. I’ve been quite successful so far, but I do find the mode tedious and it’s a real pain to have to keep going through it. I suppose it forces you to get to grips with other fighters though.

Hopefully in the next blog I will have grasped those combos and I will look to venture online to test my new found skillz innit.
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I’m about to say something that might send shivers down your spine. In fact it’s quite disgusting if I say so myself. I have never really got into any Street Fighter game. Now before I receive an abundance of Hadokens aimed at me, just read on.

I always admired the Street Fighter games, but the honest truth was that I was terrible at them and I hate losing so naturally I didn’t play the games I wasn’t any good at. However, I have matured now and with all the hype surrounding Street Fighter 4 I just had to buy it. I will write a few short blogs detailing my progress as a Street Fighter ‘noob’ and my thoughts on the game.
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In 1984, 8 bit computers all over the country started running seed numbers through fixed algorithms, creating sequences of other, bigger, numbers that might, for example, be used to determine the fictitious characteristics of a fictitious planets within a fictitious galaxy. These busy little algorithms could, with a bit of persuasion, be coaxed into generating a name for the planet, its relative position, the kinds of stuff its inhabitants might want to buy and sell, and the political climate in which they lived.

It also meant that Cambridge undergraduates David Braben and Ian Bell, whose considerable egg-headedness had made this awesome (for 1984) bit of number crunching possible could swap their separate but similar pet projects – Freefall (Braben) and Fighter (Bell) – and combine to produce Elite, the first true incitement-to-divorce gaming experience, twenty years before relationship-deleting delights of franchises such as Chanpionship Manager, Total War, or Sim City.

A fact: one year after its release, Elite had sold 160,000 units on the platform for which it was designed, the venerable BBC B micro computer. This was more than the total number of BBC B micro computers.

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